PASCAGOULA – Sacred Heart parishioner Sherry Cumbest was fortunate to have the love and support of her family, friends and her pastor, Father Mike Kelleher, after her son Dillon was stillborn last year.

However, Cumbest knows not every woman who suffers a miscarriage is quite as fortunate.

That’s why she, with the blessing of Father Kelleher and the assistance of the Knights of Columbus Ladies Auxiliary, has started a ministry to help those families who are suffering the scars of a miscarriage.

“My husband, Kelly, and I had a stillborn child last year,” she said. “So, following that, we wanted to make something for other parents that would provide comfort and offer resources for healing.”

After doing some Internet research, they came up with the idea of “a Memory Box”.

The decorative box includes an “Angel Teddy Bear” which is intended to comfort the family.

“It’s something you can carry out of the hospital, whereas, when you leave the hospital, you’re leaving without your child,” she said.

“It’s something tangible.”

The box also includes a handprint and footprint impression kit, a little footprints pin with the inscription “Always in my Heart”, the book, Empty Arms: Coping After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death by Sherokee Ilse and other information to guide the family through the grieving/healing process. In addition, Sherry’s mother-in law, Linda Cumbest, also sews pouches that are used for stillborn children to be placed into. Father Kelleher blesses the pouches and the goal is to provide the pouches to local hospitals to provide to families who have been affected by the death of an infant. Another project in the works is to sew gowns for premature babies.

“I think we had a better support system than many people that I talked to since this happened to us, but at the hospital we didn’t,” said Cumbest.

“At the hospital, it was just physical care. There was no mental or emotional care besides what we received from our family and friends.”

The Cumbest family had been sending the Memory Boxes out on their own from their house and is hopeful to get the boxes into local hospitals.

Thus far, Cumbest estimates that they have sent out 14 boxes since December and, now that their efforts have blossomed into a parish-wide ministry, they’re looking to ramp up their efforts.

Linda Cumbest is a member of the ladies auxiliary and, after her grandchild was still born, the organization decided to get involved.

“When I realized how heavily Sherry had gotten involved in it and how it had helped them through their grief and continues to help them,” Linda Cumbest said.

“Sherry presented the idea to the ladies auxiliary. We discussed it and decided it would touch many, many lives. It’s something that is not talked about a lot.”

The ladies auxiliary has already sponsored one garage sale and is slated to hold another one on July 24 in the RCS Elementary cafeteria, which is located on the grounds of Sacred Heart Church.

“The ladies auxiliary at Sacred Heart is hoping to reach out to the other parishes in the diocese to help in any way they can,” Linda Cumbest said.

Sherry Cumbest stressed that, while the ministry is geared primarily to the families who have lost a child, it’s also for the family and friends who don’t know what to say and don’t know what to do.

“It has affected some of our parishioners,” Linda Cumbest said. “In fact, one of them that Sherry provided a box to, said it really opened a door to their family as far as the parents and grandparents because they were at a standstill as to what to do and what to say. When Sherry gave them the box, it opened the door for all of them and it was a big comfort.”

Linda Cumbest also said there are several ladies in her auxiliary who have been affected by the death of an infant who realize now what a valuable help such a ministry would have been for them had it been available at the time of their child’s death.

Father Kelleher said the ministry fills a tremendous void.

“This is something that affects an awful lot of families, my own included,” Father Kelleher said. “When something like this happens, what I often see is silent grieving by families. Unless you’ve experienced it yourself, you don’t even know about it. The God of our understanding is a God of love and a God of compassion and a God of tenderness and these are the emotions that I have when I encounter people like this. I think it’s a beautiful ministry and, when I heard about Sherry’s involvement and her idea for this symbol of God’s love and compassion for grieving families, I thought it would be a beautiful outreach ministry to our parish.

“Everything that’s happening around here lately is happening under the shadow of this big, fine multi-purpose building that we are about to dedicate here, hopefully, later this year but I feel like the parish is kind of coming alive and getting more involved in different ministries and we will have an opportunity to meet as an organized parish. This will give us the opportunity to gather and to share our gospel values. I’m excited about it.”

Father Kelleher said it’s also important to know the Church’s stance on matters regarding stillborn children.

“The question has come up more than once with me and, as I mentioned, this is something that I experienced with my own family, with a niece,” Father Kelleher said.

“I was asked, ‘Since the baby had not been baptized, what is the status of the baby?’ Our theology is that there are different forms of baptism – by water, by blood like the early Christians who were not baptized but died for their faith as martyrs and baptism by desire. If your intention was to have your baby baptized when it was born and healthy and you and your husband were able to present that baby to the Church that was sufficient. Your baby was baptized. I got this question big time from my own little niece because I was her uncle and she was kind of curious about those questions. We had a funeral for their infant and, when I told her what I know, she was very reassured and very comforted.”

After Dillon’s death, Father Kelleher celebrated a funeral Mass for the Cumbest family.

“I know it was very comforting for us to have Father Kelleher come out and do a blessing for us,” Sherry Cumbest said.

Added Father Kelleher, “We don’t think about little tiny infants. We know they’re with the angels in heaven but we don’t think them.”

“It makes it more real for the families and for the rest of the world to acknowledge it,” Sherry Cumbest said.

It should be mentioned that, in addition to Dillon, Sherry and Kelly Cumbest have been blessed with two sons: Iain, 3, and Collin, 7 and have a baby girl on the way.

If you would like to help with this new ministry, email Sherry Cumbest: GUINNESS_JRT@HOTMAIL.COM or call Sacred Heart Parish at 228-762-1837.